Ways to annoy a professor
by missfeliggy
Summary: What the title states.
1. Chapter 1

It was not easy to be an archaeologist professor and gentlemen, when one of the most important things was to keep an eye on a curious, eternally eating, self-appointed apprentice and a smart and athletic assistant, who loved buzzing around on her own. Both were equally mischievous.

"Are you almost done?"

"Yes, just a little more."

"Shush, I hear someone coming."

"Done."

They managed to get out of sight before the Professor appeared in the doorway, spotting a freshly made pot of tea.

He helped himself to a cup and when lifting it up to his mouth he could faintly smell something sour. Thinking nothing of it he took a sip.

"WHO PUT VINEGAR IN THE TEA?!"

* * *

Luke was never aware of precisely _how far_ he needed to go to get the Professor to lose it. He did, however, soon discover it when he, quite unintentionally, sat down on the dear Professor's tophat.

Needless to say, the Professor was not pleased.

* * *

The Professor spent an awful lot of his working hours in his office, that is, when he wasn't in class or at meetings.  
It was when he was at one of these occational meetings that Luke decided to invite a few friends over, so that they could see the famous professor's base. This and that happened and in the end the office was in an even worse state than before.

Luke did not avoid getting a lecture.

How did the Professor notice anyway?

* * *

The Professor was not pleased when Don Paolo showed up in the middle of the night in his destroying copter, claiming that revenge would be his.

"Paul, can't we discuss this some other time? You might wake someone."

"REVENGE WILL BE MINE."

In the end Don Paolo had no copter to fly home in.

* * *

Lately Rosetta's comings had gone to the extreme (more than usually). All her essays had been filled more with hearts than with text and whatever text there was were exclamations of love. Her stalking him home had become a daily basis and he was sure that she had broken into his office more than once.

It finally crossed the line when headlines suck as _"Does Layton have a girlfriend?"_,_ "The Professor's secret love-life"_ and _"Professor Layton: A pervert?"_ were all over the news.

It would take a long time before the Professor could sort that mess out.

* * *

**(A/N) Sorry for the OOCness ^^;**

**I don't know if I should continue with this or anything. I'll just leave that to the reviews, so PLEASE REVIEW! :D**

**I own absolutely nothing.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for the lovely reviews :D**

* * *

Another time when Don Paolo tried to get his revenge on Layton he arrived to an empty house. It just so happened that the Professor was eating out with Luke, Emmy, Flora and other friends.  
For the sake of not wasting his time, he decided to break in anyway. At least the Professor wouldn't stop him this time.

The Professor and co. later returned to a home with graffitied walls inside and outside, saying things like "The mighty DON PAOLO wuz here" and "You SUCK, Layton!"  
Anything tecnological in the least was cut from power. Some of the Professor's clothing together with his bed sheets and mattress was ripped to pieces. Most of the hidden puzzles were gone and Layton was crossed out of every single photo in the house.

"It would seem that Don Paolo has been here, Professah!"

"You don't say."

* * *

Flora had never been a good cook nor would she ever be.  
That's the reason why the Professor wasn't too surprised to find, when returning from a stroll through the park, fire engines outside his house.

It was later discovered that she had tried to make sandwiches.

* * *

After a visit to the zoo, Luke felt that he needed to do something to help the lost animals in the world.

Let's just say that when Layton decided to retire to bed one evening, he found his bedroom absolutely stuffed with stray cats and dogs and what seemed like _all_ the squirrels you could find in St. James's Park.

"LUKE!"

* * *

Emmy enjoyed working out. Whenever the wasn't anything overly important to do, she would stand up where she was and begin hitting and kicking the air; she would ever so often let out a cry as if she was a character in one of those karate movies. For her there was no excuse not to.

"Emmy, could yo- OUCH!"

"Oh God, I'm so sorry, Professor!"

* * *

**(A/N) Layton should really reconsider his company XD  
LOL only Layton knows where those hidden puzzles are.**

**Review and tell me what you think. I'm willing to take requests if you have come up with ideas for this fic (that is if you don't want to write them yourselves). I'll credit you, of course ;)**

**I own nothing**


	3. Chapter 3

**The Mocking J requested another one with Rosetta and one with Clive/Legal Luke so here they are :)**

**Note that the first one also takes place after Unwound Future.**

* * *

After receiving Luke's letter the Professor immediately took off in the flying Laytonmobile together with Flora, who had gone to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the trip. For the sake of his kitchen he took her with him, saying they'd eat when they arrived.

They had been in the air about an hour, when they heard thumps from the trunk of the car together with a hard-to-hear voice, which, despite the racket of the engines, sounded familiar to a certain student of the Professor's. "Can I come out now, Professor Bloody Sexy Layton?"

The Professor sighed; as a gentleman he really should get her out. He just didn't want to be a gentleman at the moment.

* * *

Not long after the London incident the Professor visited Clive in jail. The police officer, who had showed Layton to Clive's cell, allowed Layton inside the cell and even let him have the keys, but only under the condition that Clive didn't try any funny business.

In the time they were left alone they managed to have a casual chit-chat like one of them wasn't even jailed unconditionally. Well, that is until...

"I'm really not having a good time here. Nobody seem to understand why I did what I did, heck, I don't even understand it anymore. There is no one to talk; you're the first one who's actually willing! It really means a lot," Clive said, embracing the Professor, who hugged back. They were like that for a moment, until a loud _'__C__ling!'_ made them break apart.

The Professor looked just outside the cell and sure enough _there_ was the keys to the cell.

"Hahahaha~, you really should see your face, Professor!"

* * *

If there was one thing the Professor loved, though not as much as a good cup of tea and a puzzle, it was the sound of buzzing people around him. He would often find himself sitting at a café, reading the paper and drinking tea, while listening to the passing of people and cars.

One of these times, he was, as always, quite occupied with all these impressions that he didn't notice the colour of his 'tea', much less the smell.

"What's wrong, Professah?" Luke asked, watching his mentor spit for dear life.

"It's COFFEE!"

* * *

**(A/N) Yay! Layton visited Clive in jail, hugged him and got locked in with him :D  
It worked fine enough and it was funny to write :) The two in the top are to The Mocking J, so I hope you liked them ^^**

**And now I will stop pestering Layton about his tea**

**I own nothing**


	4. Chapter 4

**The first two were suggested by Celeste K. Raven. Bloody brilliant they were XD**

* * *

One of the Professor's classes had never been good at archaeology and therefore it came as a surprise when they all passed with no errors on the annual tests.

It was only later, that he heard some of the younger students whispering about an older student selling out old notes.

That is why he made sure that his students had delivered all their books and papers to his desk before informing them, that they should take the test again.

"But that's no fair!"

"I know."

* * *

Whenever an artifact was discovered the Professor would often have the honor of studying it before anyone else. One of these artifacts was ancient vase found just outside of Nottingham.

As for the fate of this poor vase, well... Let's just say that either the Professor should stop leaving his work out in the open or Luke and Flora should stop playing around so violently. The latter agreed not to talk about it ever again.

"Luke, Flora, do you know what happened to the vase I was studying?"

"Oh look, Professah, it's raining!"

* * *

The Professor always loved a good mystery and helping people out, so whenever a request letter came his way he would, of course, take the offer. However, there would always show someone up with less than good intentions. Sometimes, the Professor couldn't help but shake his head over the stupidity behind those intentions.

"Layton, the time has finally come for me to defeat you. It'll be a glorious moment, for _I_ will now dig down into this ground and find the Holy Grail!"

"... We're in England, Descole."

* * *

Then came the wonderful day, that was the 14th of February. Well, it was wonderful for anyone but Professor Hershel Layton (... and Don Paolo, but I guess that's no surprise), because he knew that around any corner could the ferocious lust machine that was better known as Rosetta be waiting. And she was.

"Hello, Professor. Would you be interested in any chocolate?"

"No thank you, Rosetta. I'm quite fine."

"Aww, but they're homemade; I stayed up all night making them just for you."

Because of that the Professor could not deny her a taste of one of her sweets. The next thing he remembers is waking in an unfamiliar bedroom, which highly probable belonged to Rosetta, if all the pictures of him surrounded with hearts and the various "Hershel+Rosetta" and "Rosetta Layton" on the walls was anything to go by.

* * *

**(A/N) Alright, I know that the Holy Grail is supposedly somewhere in Britain, but for the sake of the second-to-last drabble, let's say that it isn't.  
I just destroyed Valentine's Day, even though it's not February yet -.-**


	5. Chapter 5

**Well, GeorgiexxxSuarez wanted another one with Clive, so here ya go ^^  
It's short, but I hope it'll do.**

**There was also a guest reviewer (ThatOne), who wanted one with Rosetta freaking Layton out by trying to earn 'extra credit'. I hope it's good enough, because while writing that should be easy enough, SamCyberCat has almost every possible scenario. They're effing genius. Go read them to those who haven't already!**

* * *

It just so happened that Clive was released on parole. And it just so happened that the Professor was to take care of him. It also just so happened... that Flora hadn't quite forgiven him yet.

"Take this! And that! And that! AND THAT!"

"AAAARRGGHHH, PROFESSOR! GET HER OFF OF ME! GET HER OFF OF ME!"

* * *

In an attempt to improve her grades and gain "extra credit" with the Professor, Rosetta had signed up to be Layton's new assistant. Unfortunately for Layton, Dean Delmona thought it was a brilliant idea.

Layton tried to avoid any "situations", but it didn't always quite work.

"Why don't we set this work aside and get to know each other better?"

"N-n-now Rosetta, a l-lady always prioritize h-her th-th-things!"

* * *

It happened once, when Layton, Luke and Emmy were on their way back home from one of their adventure, that the Laytonmobile broke down in the middle of nowhere. While waiting for someone to pass by, Luke decided to sing a song, which Emmy sang along to.

_"99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer. Take one down and pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall."_

When they had finished, they repeated the whole thing.

It ended with the Professor getting hospitalized from repeatedly banging his head against the steering wheel.

* * *

**For some odd reason I really want to see Flora beat up Clive O.O**

**And that last one is incredibly OOC of all of them.  
Why does Luke start singing that song? Because I wrote it? No. Because it's Luke logic; it doesn't have to make sense.**

**I think that mayhaps I should (temporarily) finish this (sorta drabble) story/fic at moment. It's not because I'm tired of writing this (because I'm not!), but I fear that I just might milk it and I really don't want that.**

**I'll still take suggestion and, who knows, maybe figure out some while writing.**

**EDIT: I'M NOT LEAVING! D:  
I'm just taking a little break.**


	6. Chapter 6

**I'm back~ :3**

**GeorgiexxxSuarez came up with the second one :D**

**Abitat Eco wanted Luke to wake up Layton early :)**

**The Mocking J wanted Lando to annoy Hershel (who doesn't) XD**

* * *

The Professor was always looked up to as a model English gentleman. Therefore, he always tried to act the part. It didn't always work and Luke's neverending babbling did not help his growing headache.

"Look, Professah! I've found a hidden puzzle!"

"I do not care, Luke. I simply. Do. Not. Care."

* * *

Rosetta had always gotten on the poor Professor's nerves, even though he, as a gentleman, would never admit it. He never was too keen on being in the same room as her, but, for the sake of not hurting her feeling, didn't say a thing; it would prove difficult as well, seeing that he was her Archaeology professor. Nevertheless, a lot of his standpoints were being tested, when she spread the rumour that she was pregnant with his child.

Some disliked the thought itself.

"How scandalous! He's much older than her!"

Some were more exited.

"So, when did it happen?"

Some were saddened.

"Why wasn't it me?!"

All were believing.

"For the last time. You must believe me when I say that it isn't my child; in fact, I don't think that there is a child at all!"

"Now, Professor. There is no need to lie like that."

"WHY WON'T YOU LISTEN?!"

* * *

Whenever Layton was up late studying, it was Luke's job to make sure that the Professor was up in time for class. One of these times were when the Equinox occured and Layton payed no notice before he reached the University and found himself all alone.

"Luke will surely hear from this."

* * *

Lando was a prankster; everybody knew and nobody knew it more than Hershel. What he didn't see coming was the stand-in teacher shifting her attention to him and throwing all sorts of puzzles his way. From the corner of his eye, Hershel saw Lando desperately trying to hold back laughter; he failed miserably.

_'Damn it, Lando!'_

Lando knew he was in trouble, but whatever was to come, it was all worth it!

* * *

**I know the Professor doesn't act as a gentleman; he's a gentleman to the bone, but since these are drabbles I write, it doesn't really matter.  
You get 20 picarats, if you can guess where the reference is from in the first one :)**

**I think that maybe I could have done better with these, but it's pretty late over here and I'm tired -0-**

**By the way, what would you say if I told you that I know a guy, who is just about perfect in any way possible? Because I do know a guy, who is pretty darn smart (he knows a bit of everything), very athletic (I'm sure he could fence if he tried), he's always kind and think of others before himself and I've never NEVER seen him lose his temper. He's good-looking as well ;) But seriously, add a tophat and a severe case of puzzle obsession and we've got the Professor. I kid you not.**


	7. Chapter 7

**RegularGemstone requested Layton to be chased by his fangirls (and Rosetta). It wasn't specified what kind of fangirls it was, so yeah (lol)**

**The other two were requested by Abitat Eco (Abbie! :D)**

**Hope you both enjoy them. And the rest of you guys, too!**

* * *

The Professor would sometimes stay behind in the classroom, even after the bell had rung. He didn't know what it was about that big empty classroom that was so calming, but he sure as hell was happy that it was that day he chose to stay behind instead of going to his office.

Suddenly, the door burst open and there stood Rosetta with a large group of girls behind her.

"Rosetta, what's the meaning of this?"

"We all want to have your babies (though, I'm going to have the most)." And with that they all charged towards the poor Professor, who in turn ran towards the other door in the room, which led out to the open areas of the school. It didn't take long before he was far ahead of them, but he could still hear their cries.

"I want to have your babies!"

"Marry me, please!"

And the most shocking by far.

"I want to film you, while you have a session with either Luke or Descole!"

"WHAT?!"

* * *

The Professor should NEVER take a nap in the middle of the day, no matter where he was. He had often woken up with all sorts of bizarre changes to his appearance. This time was no different; he had woken up with punk-rock hair with the entire package: spiky, greenish hair with few pink lock and not to mention the make-up!

Now it was only to figure out just who had done it.

* * *

The Professor was never a man of violence, so why Emmy had requested a karate contest with him, he never knew.

"No, a gentlemen never fights anyone and much less a lady at that."

"Come on, Professor. I promise no one gets hurt."

After much pleading, the Professor finally gave up.

"Alright, then. I sugge-"

"HIYAH."

"OW! Why did you do that?"

"Sorry I thought we had already begun."


	8. Chapter 8

**I am so sorry for not updating sooner, but life pretty much got in the way :(**

**To The Mocking J: I know you asked for Claire to annoy the Professor, but truthfully, I couldn't imagine her annoying either intentionally or unintentionally. So, I went with having her point something out, that would annoy him. I hope that's okay :)**

**They're not that good, but I hope they are _somewhat_ worth the wait!**

* * *

It occured more often than not, that Scotland Yard would ask the Professor to help them out on their more "complicated" cases. The Professor himself often wondered, why they bothered asking him instead of a five-year-old, besides the fact, that it could get ugly sometimes.

"I have a hypothesis; I'm not sure, but I think he was stabbed to death."

"Amazing, Inspector, your opservation deductive skills are absolutely amazing. I, myself, was wondering what the knife _in his back_ was doing, as well as the multiple _stab wounds_."

* * *

Hershel Layton could be called a lot of things, but a gourmet was not one of them. He wasn't terrible, but it wasn't one of his stronger sides either. Whenever, him and Claire were going on a date, they would always eat out or Claire would make the food.

However, he had promised to cook on Claire's 25th birthday and so he did. Tried to anyway.

"Are you certain we shouldn't go to a restaurant or something?"

"I have everything under control," he said, appearing in the doorway, only too late to realise his mistake.

"Doesn't it smell burned in here?"

"...Bloody hell."

* * *

Grosky was one of the inspectors that Layton was most used to work with, or rather, help out. This case was no different.

"Maybe we can solve this with a puzzle. Here we go:  
The police have 5 suspects in custody. They exspect some of them to lie, but they don't know how many. These are each of the suspects accounts:  
A: I saw C do it!  
B: A is lying!  
C: I didn't do it.  
D: I wasn't there when it happened.  
E: At least three of us are lying.  
So, who are lying and who are telling the truth?"

"There is no doubt about; it must be YOU THERE!" Grosky said, pointing to a random goat nearby.

"...Your logic astound me, Grosky."

* * *

**I know the pointing and esclaiming is Layton's thing (and a good deal of Phoenix Wright characters' as well XD), but I could really imagine Grosky say it. He probably has at some point, too, without me remembering. Layton is contagious XD**

**I'm really bad at making puzzles D:**


	9. Chapter 9

**The singing and Christmas ones were requested by a guest (ok, I kid, it was Abitat Eco XD)**

**The Mocking J asked for Descole**

* * *

The Professor was just in the middle of a very good puzzle with a nice cup of tea at his side, when a horrid noice, which could easily compete with that of a screeching cat, sounded. Out of curiousity (and mild surprise), the Professor hurried downstairs to see whatever could cause such a racket. When downstairs, he was met by the sight of Flora and Janice sitting comfortably in the couch, the table nicely set with cups, a pot of tea and a plate of _slightly_ burned biscuits.

"What has happened? I just heard the most horrific sound. What died?!"

Flora and Janice looked awkwardly at each other before Janice decided to answer. "I asked Flora to let me hear her pitch, since I am giving her singing lessons."

"Oh."

* * *

Christmas is always the time of year in which you spent your with family and friends and being plain grateful. This year Layton had received some hand knitted, orange and brown sweaters from Flora, a gift certificate which applied to every restaurant in London from Emmy and Luke (which he was VERY grateful for), another hand knitted sweater which said '_I HEART ROSETTA'_ (surprisingly) from Rosetta (the Professor planned to use it later as firework for his fireplace), a threat from Don Paolo and a coffee machine. From Clive.

"Now you can drink something other than tea!"

"...I see..." The Professor could have sworn, that Clive was trying to hide _that_ smile.

* * *

It had been awhile since the Professor had last heard from Jean Descole, and to be honest, he was quite curious to know what the scientist had been up to. That is until he appeared again.

"I will now blow up this entire town to find one of the secret bases of the Templars!"

"Why would you do that?"

"...I'm so terribly bored."

* * *

**YAY! It's December, which means Christmas, which means lots and lots of tv-calendars :) Well, for me at least; I don't really know about you guys.**

**There is reason for the lateness of this and that is because I went to Berlin in the weekend :) Just before that my pc crashed, so I had to pull up my (old) stationary :( And in between I've been distracted by Superjail! (*OMGWardenissoadorable*)**

**I don't know anything about commas in English *is a dummy***


	10. Chapter 10

**Eriaana requested for Crow to steal the Professor's hat XD**

**The Mocking J requested for a little more Christmas :) You also requested Barton, but I'll look into that one in the next chapter ;D**

* * *

The Professor had long since decided to never overreact under any given situation, because that was the trait of a true gentleman. Of course, there were always exceptions to any rule, and the Professor had discovered himself to break his own rules a few times.

This was no exception.

"It would seem I have your hat, Professor. I'm sure, I can get a good few money outta it."

"Give it back, Crow."

"Nope. I don't think I will."

Poor Crow never saw it coming, but then again... he probably shouldn't have challenged the Professor, while they were surrounded by all sorts of solid objects.

* * *

Christmas shopping was not fun. Never had been and highly probable never was going to be. You see, due to the Professor's career choice, he rarely was in good time with the presents, because of the markings and tests he had to go through, not to mention the various archaeological finds he had to study. The every so often out-of-town mysteries didn't help much either.

But here he was, on the 23rd of December, carrying all sorts of different-coloured packages like so that he could barely see over them. He was trying to make his way through the thick crowd of people towards his beloved Laytonmobile on the other side of the street. He made a slight turn to the right and had just gotten to an opening when...

_Slip!_

The poor Professor found himself face-first in the ice-cold pavement, hearing the sound of something breaking. It was not one of his own bones.

* * *

Every year on the last sunday before Christmas, Scotland Yard would hold a Christmas party, to the great surprise of the younger generation of the Layton household. This year, however, this particular household was invited as well, which also came as a... well, actually lesser of a surprise, but yeah, still a surprise.

Nearing the ending of the night, most of the adult part of the party were drunk to a degree that was _very_ unprofessional. The only ones who weren't drunk were the Professor and Chelmey (Emmy had decided not to come and a drunk Grosky had been carried out by Hanna, who miraculously had managed to get inside).

Both men (who had decided to converse) were suddenly caught aware of the chanting of the word _'kiss'_ by their fellow comrades, before looking up to discover that they were standing under the mistletoe.

* * *

**I have just watched the final episode of season 3 of Superjail! and... I'm stunned. It's not a bad episode, not at all; it's very much brilliant.  
****It's just such a cliffhanger! If there ever is a season 4, then it's going to take over a year before it comes out :'( OH GOD WHY?!**

**Anyway, it would seem that the second and third ones are more detailed than I usually do. Hmm... interesting.**

**Also, in the last one I originally wanted it to be Emmy, considering who I am shipping, but changed my mind to Chelmey to make it more crack-ish ;) But I do by no means ship 'em.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Abitat Eco requested the first and third ones :) The third one takes place directly after "****Between Dreams, Shooting Stars, Letters and Mistletoes"**

**The Mocking J: I got the Barton one for you now :)**

* * *

While Luke was on vacation in England, he and Layton along with Emmy decided to go back to Monte d'Or, bringing Clive and Flora along with them. While there, the younger party, mainly Luke, couldn't resist the urge to go by Tingly Town and try out some rides. Despite being utterly terrified of it, Luke ended up taking the roller-coaster with Layton, due to Emmy's powers of persuasion aka. chicken sounds.

During the ride or more accurately, during one of the loops, the ride suddenly stopped due to a minor malfunction. In an attempt to calm down Luke, Layton embraced him as much as possible due there sitting positions. Unfortunately, he let go of his while doing so, and gravity soon took over, letting the hat fall down towards the ground.

Down at ground-level, Emmy was taking pictures like crazy, not missing her chance at having a picture of the Professor without his hat, much to the dismay of said professor.

It didn't take long before the roller-coaster was rolling again, but while it lasted, Flora was at a candy stall, discussing with the poor fellow behind the counter how to make proper sweets. Clive along with Lando, Sharon and Henry were all the while trying to keep straight faces. They failed miserably.

* * *

Barton was what one would describe as a man, who was slightly clumsy (don't invite him into a room filled with antiques, if you don't have insurance), sometimes confused to a point where he didn't know what he was doing, and have nervous tendencies, which was one of the reasons why he spoke a mile per second, while still being better at his job than his superior was.

Layton was - for the most part - thankful, that Barton was the one the police chose to have following (stalking) him around, rather than one of the more burky and (what seemed) violent ones, whenever they were having a tough (easy) case. The cause for the following (stalking) was simply because, if the police needed help, they would always know where Layton was, so that they could ask for it (because it was simply _too__ complicated_ to ring his doorbell). The Professor liked the Constable like any other person, but also because he had - for the most part - proved to be good company. _For the most part._

"I know you're there, Constable. You might as well come out. Would you fancy some tea?"

"Alright, sir. Yes, sir."

"I'm not your superior, so there's no need for the 'sir'".

"No, sir - I mean ye- I mean no. Sir"

"..."

* * *

Shortly after Christmas - or more specifically - the next morning, when everyone was opening their presents, the Professor and Emmy got an odd little present. When opening it, they found Emmy's camera, a photo of them kissing and a note saying the following:

_Looky who I saw, when going for a glass of water. You looked so cute I couldn't resist._

_-Clive  
PS. Professor, are you the one to take Emmy's virginity, and if you are, have you done it yet?_

It didn't even take two seconds, before Emmy was chasing Clive around the house.

"...Professah?" Luke asked, reading the note over the Professor's shoulder.

"Yes?"

"What is virginity."

"...I'll tell you, when you're older."

* * *

**The last one is hard to pass by without it getting the slightest perverted. At least it was kept to a minimum. Luke is as innocent as ever.**

**Hmm... I'm really fond of the word 'due' lately. Due, due, due, due, DUE! Kind of reminds me of 7th grade, when our teacher told us to clean up 'thoroughly' (she said it 5+ times to make her point). The rest of the day, we didn't speak a sentence without the word 'thoroughly' in it XD**

**If anyone wonders, I'm using the names Lando and Sharon, because I think there was absolutely no reason for them to be changed in the English versions. I like these names better, I guess.**

**Sorry for the lateness, but I think I'm coming down with a fever, so my brain doesn't really function :(  
I am, however, in process of working out my "Breaking of Ground" story, so I'll see when I can update on that one.**


	12. Chapter 12

**The Mocking J requested the first one :)**

* * *

When returning to St. Mystere, due to reasons that more or less had to do with Flora wanting to see her childhood home again, they found that Claudia, Lady Dahlia's cat, once again had run off. Most of their time there was spent searching for the cat, not because she was hard to find and catch, but because she continually ran off.

"Ouch!"

"Luke, don't be such a crybaby. This is the last bandage."

"Mmmmiiiiaaawww!"

"Eh?! Oh, not again!"

* * *

Christmas had passed and New Years Eve had finally arrived. Layton and Emmy were each holding an arm around the other, enjoying the sight of the fireworks spiralling up in the air and then explode in thousands upon thousands of colours. Luke had run of for a little while, throwing firecrackers around wildly, and Clive had - for better or for worse - joined him. Flora, who had never celebrated the arrival of a new year before, was gawking in awe and excitement at the sky in all it's colours and wonders, but was staying inside as the only member of the Layton household, because she thought it was too noisy outside.

"It really is beauti-Ack!-beautiful."

"Yes, it really -Ouch!- is-Ah!"

"I wonder if Flora is -Ouch!- alright."

"ALRIGHT YOU TWO, GIVE ME THOSE FIRECRACKERS!"

* * *

When returning to work from the holiday, the Professor found that the only thing he really dreaded was his classes with a certain obsessive, sex-crazed student of his.

"Hello, Professor. How was your holiday? Did you get any "special" presents? Hehehe-Ouch! Wha-who was that? Oh, it's just you, pipsqueak. Run along no-Ack! Professor, tell him what for!"

"You may continue, Luke."

* * *

**I guess this chapter is a little late, but you know, obvious reason is obvious.**

**I HOPE YOU ALL HAD A MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR! Did you get what you wished for (even though that it in reality really doesn't concern me)?**

**Okay, whoever threw firecrackers (those small, harmless ones) at people's legs when were little, raise your hand! *raises hand***


	13. Chapter 13

**So late T.T I'M SORRY! D:**

**It was a little while ago asked to make one where Layton took revenge, but I changed it a little bit.**

**The second one was requested by Abitat Eco and I thought: 'Why don't I make it an continuation?' So I did.**

* * *

After a while the Professor was tired of his friends' constant pranks, so he decided that a little bit of revenge would do some good.

For Luke, he had given Subject X a bag of carrots in exchange for him to kick the living daylight out of the kid. Though not _too_ severely.

For Emmy, it just so happened that _all_ her favorite restaurants were in dept to Layton, so he had them close down for a week.

For Clive, well... It better go unmentioned.

Flora hadn't purposely pranked him yet, so he took her out for ice-cream.

* * *

Everything was quiet in the Layton household.

"AAAARRRRGGGGGHHHH!"

Well, it was until now.

"AAAARRRGGGHHHH!"

"LUKE! Calm down. Why are you screaming?"

"I-I s-s-saw some cr-creepy red eyes in the c-c-cellar! It's a monster! I know it is! Please, don't let it get me, Professah!"

"Calm down. There is no such thing as monsters (with the exception of Loosha, but she was a dinosaur, so she doesn't count). To prove it to you, I'll go down there." And so he did. Unfortunately for him it was all a set-up by Luke, Clive and Emmy. Don Paolo was there as well, approving on the sidelines together with Flora, who hadn't yet fathomed what was going on.

_CLANK!_

_"Let me out of here this instant!"_

"That's for what you did to us."

A few hours later when the Professor finally got out, he found that his office had been cleaned up thoroughly, so now he couldn't find anything.

* * *

On one of his many adventures, the Professor had been requested to check out Loch Ness to see, if there really was a monster. Somewhere along the investigation, Luke somehow ended up riding on the "monster".

"Professah! Help me!"

"You know," the Professah had said, turning to Emmy, "I think I understand, why Clark was so eager to let him come with me to London."

* * *

**I have watched "Wreck-it Ralph"... IT'S THE MOST AMAZING MOVIE DISNEY HAVE MADE SINCE THEY WENT BACK TO ANIMATION! Btw, Felix is my fav. That is all.**

**I own nothing.**


	14. Chapter 14

**I would like to say, that since this originally wasn't to be anything but one chapter of random drabble-ish things I thought up, that I really appreciate the support and creative ideas/requests you guys have ^^ Thank you to all, who have ever reviewed, favorited and/or followes this... thing :) I really appreciate it!**

**Abitat Eco requested the first one.**

**GeorgiexxxSuarez requested the second one.**

* * *

The Professor was in his office, enjoying a particularly good puzzle, when...

His office door broke down and, in a blur of brown, yellow and white, someone took ahold of him and said: "We need to get out of here!", before the two of them were thrown out the window.

When he came to, he saw that no more than five metres away, where his office used to be, was a crashed Targent ship. Not long after did the ambulances arrive and they were quite busy with all the injured. Amongst these was Belle, who originally came to see if she could find Luke, but ended up being an extremely soft pillow for Layton and Emmy to land on.

During the commotion, Rosetta had made her way over to the Professor, and he didn't realise her presence before she was practically sitting on his thigh.

"I hope my favorite scholar isn't hurt_ too_ badly. And if he is, I can most definitely make him feel better."

The poor Professor couldn't help but think: _'Only five more metres. Five more metres! I was so close!'_

* * *

While the university was under renovation, all the members of the Layton household, including Luke who was back on vacation, found it an opportune time to spend more time together.

They were all gathered around a table, with the exception of Clive, trying to solve a 2000 pieces puzzle, when said missing member came busting through the door, each arm around a girl. It was a blonde and a brunette.

"I don't think I have introduced you girls to my family. Guys, these are my _girlfriends_, Sarah," he pointed to the blonde. "And Michelle," he pointed to the brunette. "And we can't forget the last one," he said, going outside and practically carrying in a redhead. "This is Amanda!"

Said "family" didn't know what to say; all three girls were only wearing bikinis.

"Girls, this is my fami-" and he didn't get any farther, before Emmy went "ninja" on the four, while Layton had taken Luke and Flora with him to the kitchen with the excuse: "I need Luke and Flora's help to prepare dinner."

Needless to say, Flora was the only one happy with that arrangement.

* * *

Hershel knew three things for sure:

One, Lando was eccentric and arrogant.

Two, Lando was his best friend no matter how infuriating he could be.

Three, he would travel to the end of the universe to make sure he was safe, because of that. Well, that and the fact that Sharon would kill him if he didn't. Although sometimes, he wondered if it was really worth it.

"Are you sure, that the relic is around here somewhere."

"Of course I'm sure," the bespectacled teen laughed. "It's only a good eight metres underground!"

Hershel was dumbfounded. "Eight metres? Underground?! Where's our shovels then?!"

Lando then responded rather sheepishly. "I didn't want my parents to suspect anything and I simply forgot to tell you."

At moment, Hershel could only think of one good thing and one bad thing about the situation.

Good thing, he didn't have the shovel, so he couldn't kill Lando with it.

Bad thing, he WANTED the shovel, so that he could kill Lando with it.


	15. Chapter 15

**Thanks for the nice reviews!**

**Newzealandkiwi wanted some Descole, so voila (though it's not directly)**

**To Abbix: *SUPERFIST* XD**

* * *

The Professor had over the last few years grown rather uneasy whenever Valentines Day came along, due to certain approaches by the female students (*cough*Rosetta*cough*). He was so distracted by the nearing danger that he didn't see the obvious coming events caused by others around. That Sunday morning before Valentines Day, he was abruptly awakened by Luke beating him up with branches.

"Wake up!"

"LUKE! What are you doing?!"

Luke stopped for a second. "You remember the Project Week we had in school about traditions, and I chose one with lots of sweets and other sugary stuff? This is one of the traditions."

And with that the beating continued.

* * *

When Valentines Day finally came around, Layton found that Rosetta was nowhere around. That had more or less something to do with her getting hospitalized, all thanks to a certain assistant.

* * *

The Professor loved doing the groceries. He didn't know why, he just did. It was probably connected with how he constantly was reminded of math puzzles or the like, and how he continously tried to make other people solve them for him. He thought it was an excellent way of meeting people. The last person he expected to meet while shopping was Don Paolo.

"Oi, Layton! Wonderful day it is today, isn't it? The sun's really warming and all. How are the brats, eh? I trust they're alright."

"..."

"Why are you looking at me like that? Do I have something on my face?"

"..."

"Don't look at me like that. I do have life besides trying to get revenge on you, you know!"

* * *

Descole hadn't shown up for a while and Layton was very happy with that. It wasn't until he received a letter from the guy, challenging him to find Atlantis before he did, that he grew worried. However, that didn't last long when the letter revealed that no outside people were involved, and he decided not to take up the challenge.

About a week later he received a another letter from Descole, mocking him for being a "chicken".

Another week passed by until he received yet _another_ letter from Descole, this time demanding (*cough*begging*cough*) that he came, because without his meddling Atlantis would never be unearthed.

* * *

**In explanation to the first one, the "tradition" Luke is talking about is connected to "Fastelavn", a holiday in Denmark and Norway (though it is celebrated differently depending on where you're from). It is a carneval for kids. It is today, so I was in the mood. Besides, I wanted to see Layton getting beaten up with branches by Luke :D**


	16. Chapter 16

**Brooke equals Awesome asked for some Layton/Lando friendship and possibly Lando/Sharon. I've only just referred something for now, but that is until I figure out something better.**

**Abitat Eco requested the two in the middle (they're so short D: sorry!)**

* * *

It was often a misconception of others to believe that Sharon was the innocent one in her and Lando's relationship. Back when she was young in Stansbury, she was responsible for at least half the trouble that she, Lando and Hershel caused. She was also the more creative one of the three, which greatly influenced the pranks she was pulling. One of the less creative, but incredibly more memorable, was when she released about 50 frogs into Town Hall, all of which she had spent a good 10 hours to catch in a far-off swamp, though she sometimes made do with more traditional pranks such as spicing other's food.

One of these occasions was when she invited Layton and Luke over for drinks and "buscuits". Layton and Lando knew better, but poor Luke was never warned.

"It burns! Professah, help me!"

"Just drink some tea. Here, let me pour you a cup."

It was around here that Sharon interrupted. "That's not tea in there."

* * *

Layton had never been a romantic, but if it wasn't for Claire, he wouldn't have tried to fill out those holes. At the day of their anniversary, he wrote her a (cheesy) love song. Of course, they hadn't expected that _that_ particular song would be playing in the University's speakers the following Monday, courtesy of Clark and Brenda. Most reactions were along the lines of "I knew it would happen" and "It was only a matter of time", while there was a quiet "I will get my revenge" once in awhile.

It's probably worth mentioning that not long after, the latter two people found living eals in each of their beds. How they ended there is a story for another day.

* * *

Luke had often been an annoyance, but this was the last straw. It was the last time that Layton let him bring him with him to the barber shop. It was therefore in order to bring him with him to Monte d'Or for a little visit. Before Luke even knew about it, he was hanging by his pants on a rope. Again.

"Professah, I'm really getting a wedgie by this." Unfortunately for Luke, Layton and Lando had already left. On the other hand, he found out that the Grand Hall had amazing acoustic, so he began singing to pass the time. However, it didn't last long from when he started singing that someone busted through doors to let him down, so that they could "get some quiet around here".

* * *

It would have happened sooner or later, but when it happened the Professor did not see it coming. "It" was pretty much the feeling of dread he got, when he went down for a drive and found the Laytonmobile missing. He knew he was going to dread the answer, but he needed to know what the others had done to the car.

Emmy was the first to answer. "Oh, that? We sold it to a museum."

Then Clive. "They absolutely _loved_ the ancient look about. They even gave us 15 grand for it!"

* * *

**The Professor must excuse me for coming between him and his tea again.**


	17. Chapter 17

**1st (c) The Mocking J  
2nd (c) Abitat Eco (they're both short, but they compliment each other, ne?)  
3rd (c) Nyan-chan  
4th (c) kyophelia (how could I ever have forgotten Anton :'( THANK YOU :))  
5th (C) Kira The Mew (I took the liberty of putting yours in there too, because it was hilarious XD)**

* * *

Layton and Luke had at some point in time decided to take a trip to Misthallery, but unfortunately it started raining while they were on their way, so the Laytonmobile looked like a mess by the time they arrived. Clark and Luke promised to clean it up and told the Professor that he could just go and have something to eat at Paddy's Place. Turns out he shouldn't have listened to them, because by the time he returned the Laytonmobile was coloured a bright pink. And it was waterproof.

* * *

As revenge, Layton planned to spice up Brenda's baking a little. Brenda wasn't too fond of the idea, and Layton ended with a saucepan straight to the face.

* * *

After their recent adventure, which involved an escapee from an asylum, a money transport and a cow, which could see visions of the past, the Professor had made excellent friends with the inspector of said asylum. After pulling a few strings, they were successful in having Rosetta admitted. Unfortunately, it didn't take long for her to be "released", since she had driven all the other patients even more insane by making an entirely new language, only with the use of "Professor", "Hershel", "Layton" and… "Sexy".

"Herher ton fessor sex."

Later on, no other asylum wanted to get her admitted.

* * *

It was completely unexpected, when the Professor and Luke got a letter from Anton and Katia, inviting them to Folsense. They were unsure of whether to come or not at first, but decided to come anyway, since they hadn't seen the two in a long time, despite the fact that they were going to Folsense. When they arrived, they were surprised to see that the town was lively and filled with people. Anton had explained that they had wanted to fill the town with life, since they thought it was a shame for it to be abandoned like that; after all, there wasn't anything wrong with the buildings.

While there, Layton and Luke had noticed that people were looking so expectantly at Layton, until someone asked what everyone had on their minds. "So when's the wedding?"

"…What?"

Turns out that Anton had spread a rumour, stating that Layton and Katia were going to get married. And to think this was the guy, who wanted to kill said man a few months earlier, because he thought he had stolen his fiancé.

* * *

Professor Layton loved puzzles. He loved them a lot. He also wondered if that fact was the reason behind his suffering right now.

"Oi, Professor!" It most likely was. "Answer me this: You are paddling your canoe down the road when you lose a wing*. How many pancakes did I eat for breakfast? A. Red, B. Green, C. Blue?" Emmy asked, surprisingly with a straight face.

"Or," Luke chimed in, "there are 5 ducks. 9 of them don't wear shoes and the rest are barefoot. Looking around, how many dogs are there?"

* * *

***It is actually originally "wheel", but I changed it, so now we have ALL transportation parts :D**


	18. Chapter 18

**1st - Kira The Mew (they aren't particularly sarcastic, but I just chose a few that were easy to change into something related to Layton. I hope they're recognisable!)  
2nd, 3rd and 4th - The Last Sea Serpent  
5th - GeorgiexxxSuarez  
6th - Abitat Eco**

**The Mocking J - I'm waiting with yours, until I've convinced myself that absolutely everyone has spoiled themselves. Sorry :(**

* * *

One Saturday morning, our dear professor woke up quite differently than what he was used to and it was not in a 'oh-I've-fallen-out-of-bed'-way. No, he woke up with Clive and Lando standing with smug smiles, their faces uncomfortably close to his own. It was first when Clive opened his mouth to say something that he was seriously taken by surprise. "Remember when I was in that control room and said "Take a good look at London, because this will be your last chance", and you were like "This is madness", and then I was all like "I'm going to destroy this city and kill everyone in it", until you stopped me? That was great!"

And it went on like that for the entire day; even Emmy budded in with a few such as "Remember, the Gressenheller University Bring Your Daughter to Work Day is the perfect time to have her tested. So let's get out the exam papers!" Though, it was mostly Clive and Lando doing the quoting, while the rest of the gang stood in the background, laughing their asses off.

"There was even going to be a party for you. A big party that all your friends were invited to. I invited your best friend, your employer. Of course, he couldn't come because his grandchildren have given him more puzzles. All your other friends couldn't come, either, because you don't have any other friends because of how unlikable you are. It says so right here in your personnel file: "Unlikable. Liked by no one. A bitter, unlikable loner, whose passing shall not be mourned. Shall NOT be mourned." That's exactly what it says. Very formal. Very official. It also says you were adopted, so that's funny, too."

"…"

"All the tea is gone. You don't even care, do you?"

"Now, I know that's a lie."

"What? No, no, have we ever lied to you…"

"…"

"…in this room?"

* * *

Flora and Arianna had at first been great friends, until they found out that they had feelings for the same guy: Luke. After this realisation, they had a little war about who would be more suitable to be his girlfriend. It all came down to a cooking contest. The Professor and, of course, Luke were unfortunate enough to be made some of the judges. What surprised them the most was that Arianna was just as bad at cooking as Flora.

"For that love of god, let's hope that Tony was the one doing the cooking back in Misthallery."

* * *

If there was ever a scream, which could break glass, then it'd be the one that came from the Layton household one Wednesday afternoon.

"Oh, Professor! There was this beast and… Oh my god, it was so disgusting!"

"My dear, how interesting. Care to describe it?"

"It had 8 legs and was very hairy!"

"Now Emmy, I had hoped for a more complicated puzzle from you. That is only a taran-."

"It is not a puzzle!"

* * *

During afterschool hours, it wasn't unusual to see the Professor working hard behind his desk in his office or in one of the classrooms. Nor was it unusual to see a certain female student of his leaning over said desk. The Professor felt considerably uncomfortable by this, but since it was after school, he didn't have any authority, and as a gentleman, he couldn't just tell her to scram.

"You know, I've heard there is this Archaeologist Professor in the States that goes out on adventures, too!" This took our dear professor by surprise, considering that all Rosetta ever talked about how amazing he himself was – sometimes this also included how amazing he possibly could be in bed.

"Is that so? Well, what has he discovered then?" The Professor asked, thinking that as long as it was about archaeology, nothing perverted could be added to the mix.

"Well, it isn't publicly known in America either, so how am I supposed to know? I just know who he is, because I'm pen-palling with one of his students. Turns out every girl on that school are absolutely crazy about him. I guess I am lucky then – nearly no competition at all. She has even sent a picture and I must say, he is one good-looking fellow, but you will always be number one in my book. I can just imagine the two of you bound down tightly to my beARGH! You little brat! You're still running around with those firecrackers?!"

"Thank you, Luke!"

* * *

It was made an unwritten rule in the Layton household, that whenever someone was ill no one was to bring anyone home. This was because of two reasons, 1) not risking infecting someone else, and 2) it would be an annoyance to whoever was ill. Everyone always broke that rule for whatever unknown reason. This time around, it was the Professor who was ill and Flora who brought a…a… supposedly young man home.

"Professor, this is Carl, my boyfriend. Don't let the long black hair, black clothes and make-up fool you; he's a nice guy! Carl, this is the Professor. He's my adoptive father of sorts. Now I'll leave the two of you alone, while I go prepare lunch!"

The Professor was too occupied staring at the young individual in front of him to actually notice what Flora had said. "So you're Flora's boyfriend? You wouldn't mind a puzzle, would you?"

"Not at all, but in return I'll give you one."

"A detective who was mere days from cracking an international smuggling ring has suddenly gone missing. While inspecting his last-known location, you find a note.  
The note appears to be nothing more than a series of numbers, but your gut instinct tells you that this note will reveal the name of the crime kingpin.  
The note goes: "710 57735 34 5509 51 7719."  
Currently there are three suspects in the case: Bill, John, and Todd. Who is the criminal?"

"That's easy; it's Bill! Now it's my turn. What does this message say? FILOALSIFYOTGMNRHHYOAETDW."

No matter how much the Professor thought it over, he couldn't solve it, all thanks to how blurry his head was, so he ended up defying what his condition allowed and personally kicking the poor guy out.

* * *

When they arrived to Snowrassa, Luke discovered just how well-named the place was."Woah, look at all this snow!" A snow fight was the first thing that crossed Luke's and Emmy's minds, so of course it was the first thing they did upon arrival. They didn't keep their minds on their surroundings because if they did, they would have noticed that pretty scary snowman that was… moving their way?

"RRAAWWRR!"

"Oh my god, that snowman is ALIVE and has big, sharp teeth!" Luke screamed, all but fainted. However, the snowman didn't last long when a bucketful of salt was thrown its way.

"The Great Intelligence is trying the same trick again a good century later? They really aren't that original, are they?" A young brunette man with black trousers, a brown tweed jacket and bow tie said, appearing to have more information on that creature than they did. When he noticed the stares he got, he only added "What?"

* * *

**And later on, the 11th Doctor asked Emmy if she wanted to become his new companion. What, too early?**

**Hooray for Luke for destroying the mood before everything got too perverted!**

**If you want to solve Carl's puzzle, then count the letters and split them into groups.**


	19. Chapter 19

**Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry!**

**1st and 4th - Abitat Eco  
2nd - Kira the Mew  
3rd - The Last Sea Serpent**

* * *

Whether it was by luck or by chance that the entire Layton household was out for ice cream that exact day was not certain, but it was nevertheless a good thing that they were. To elaborate things, they had all been on their way back, when sudden _crash!_ brought it to their attention that there now was a 50 metres tall ferris wheel where their house used to be. To no one's surprise, Don Paolo was standing on the top of the ferris wheel, laughing like a maniac.

"Let's see how you handle having your house crushed by a ferris wheel! Hahaha!"

To his surprise, Layton was yelling back - gentlemanly, mind you. "I wouldn't worry about that; I have an insurance that covers an occasion such as this. I thought I'd let you know that you're paying!"

* * *

One Saturday morning the Professor woke up to a surprisingly quiet house and it was, as surprising as it was, rather unsettling. Not only that, but his hat seemed to be missing as well. First pondering whether or not his "family" had been abducted by aliens - he quickly shook away that thought simply by absurd it was - he checked the clock to see that it was 10 AM. Silently making his way down to the kitchen to hopefully make some breakfast before Flora got to it, he was met with a sight that made him rethink the entire alien theory.

His "family" were all sitting at the dining table in the most peculiar of fashion: animal costumes. In the centre of the table was his missing hat as well as what appeared to have been one of his jackets. The poor cloth was completely covered in fish fins.

"What are you doing."

"Don't you remember? We're going to the support parade for animals today," Emmy said, reaching out towards the Professor's beloved tophat.

"Not the hat, not the hat!"

* * *

"Professor, what is it you wanted to show me- er, us?" Emmy stuttered, her eyes in Luke's direction for a short second.

"I only meant to show you, Emmy, but Luke ended up tagging along."

"Hey, I can hear when I'm not wanted!"

The Professor had taken Emmy - and Luke the tag-along - with him the museum to show her - and now Luke - a new exhibit of which he had given no clue what was about.

"Professor, I can see that there are a lot of interesting things in here; all the medieval relics, those stones with engravings, that Pandorica box in particular, but can't you just show us what we came here for?"

"But, of course! It's right this way," the Professor exclaimed, leading them into a new room, which contents almost made Emmy faint. True, she really only feared spiders, but giant bugs were not on her list of favourite things. "This exhibit is of giant robotics, not unlike what we've faced before, in the shape of bugs. The name of the exhibit is suitably enough "Monster Bugs of the Carboniferous", although I think the size is highly exaggerated, but that would possibly explain the term of "Monster". Anyway, as I said before, these are robotics, animatronics if you will, and can therefore be controlled; in fact, I think a few of the controls are right over here," the Professor finished his lecture, pointing to some joysticks nearby.

Emmy, who had come over her shock, was quick to grab one. "Are you sure this is alright?" she asked before doing anything further.

"Of course, otherwise they wouldn't leave these out."

"Good point!"

In an instant Luke was pulled up by his vest by the mouth of the nearest "bug". "Hey, let me down, Emmy!"

The Professor tried in vain to hide his laugh. "Emmy, that isn't how a lady acts! Here, let me hold that for you while you take some pictures."

* * *

As brilliant as he was, the Professor could admit it when he made mistakes, and right now he debated with himself just how smart it was to sneak onto a spacecraft, which belonged to robotic aliens, whose favourite word apparently was "exterminate". At the moment, he, Emmy, Luke and Clive were all cornered, and while Emmy was prepared to show these extraterrestrials just what "exterminate" meant, the Professor shoved her back, thinking it best not to tempt fate any further. Not that he believed in such nonsense.

Suddenly, a blue police box quite literally appeared out of the blue and before they knew what had happened, they were shoved inside it by a man in a brown four-buttoned suit and an overcoat. The shock eventually wore off only to be replaced by the amazement of how _big_ the police box was on the inside.

After pushing a few buttons and pulling a few levers on what one could only assume was the control panel, the man turned towards them, his expression a mix between a frown and childish curiosity, his bottom lip shoving outwards a tad. "I'm the Doc_tah_, and that was incredibly stupid of you lot. I wonder, how did you-"

"Wait, wait, wait!" Emmy interrupted before he could finish. "We've already met one oddball who called himself the Doctor, and you're not him. What is it? Some sort of international joke we've never heard of?"

The Doctor was quiet for a moment, before he started mumbling to himself. "Well _that_ rarely happens. _I_ haven't met them before, but they have met _me_, or rather, who I will _become_." Turning back towards the group, he asked the most urgent question that came to mind. "Was that "Doctor" a ginger?"

"No."

"Damn. So I haven't asked you if...?"

"Yes."

"And you answered...?"

"No."

"Good. That's one regret less."

* * *

Descole had finally concocted a new plot and the only thing he left for Layton was a letter, in which he dared the Professor to try and stop him, _again_. Not wanting things to get as awkward as last time, Layton and co. set out to the location mentioned in the letter. To no real surprise, Descole had sent out some of his lackeys as some form of protective measure. Unfortunately for them, they were no match for Emmy and Grosky - mostly Emmy though - and even Luke got to take one out.

"Look, Professah! They sure did fall quickly; it was like one of the early levels of a video-game!"

"Now, Luke, real-life is nothing like video-games."

He had barely finished his sentence, when Clive exclaimed. "Hey, hint coins!"

_Pling!_

Upon opening the doors to the factory, the group came face to face with a 3 metres tall robot, Descole nowhere in sight. Without any warning the robot lashed its arm out towards Clive and grabbed him by the face. _"Get it off of me! Get it off of me!"_

"Hm... Descole is either controlling it from a distance or it has some form of artificial intelligence. Interesting."

_"Are you guys listening?!"_

With the help of Grosky, Layton managed to get hold of a giant electric cable and short-circuited the robot with it.

"See, Clive, it wasn't so bad. That thing is no danger to anyone," Luke said, as if he had helped.

Clive was not amused. "It had me by the face, Luke!"

Suddenly the robot came to life again and, yet again, grabbed Clive by the face. _"Aw, c'mon!"_

Off to the side were Emmy and Flora, silently observing.

"That thing really wants Clive's face."

"You have to admit, it's a nice face."

* * *

**Admittedly, I am soooo quoting the new TMNT show in the last one with minor alterations. How could I not? It's so hilarious! XD**

**I am not really used to the 10th Doctor, so he is probably OOC ^^;**

**I own nothing.**


	20. Chapter 20

**Hello :)**

**I am so sorry for the wait and I have no excuse. At all.**

**1st - The Last Sea Serpent & Kira The Mew (hurray for fusions :D)  
2nd - The Mocking J  
3rd-5th - Kira The Mew**

* * *

Descole had done many stupid things in his life - not that he'd ever admit it - but going to Layton's birthday celebration was a whole new level of stupid for him.

Not many seemed excited to see him, but Layton didn't seem to mind. He was too much of a gentleman. He just calmly went into the house, and not even a minute later a horde of teenage girls, and those a bit older, came running out, rushing towards Descole. He did the only sensible thing; run away.

"I want to have your and the Professor's babies; as in, one of you give birth to the babies and then I ADOBT THEM!"

"How does that even make sense?!"

Back at the party, Emmy had a question.

"Professor? Where did all those girls come from?"

"My closet."

"Your closet?!"

"Yes, they've been following me everywhere and refused to leave. I don't have many spare beds, so I told them that if they absolutely had to stay, they'd have to sleep on the floor or find some other alternative. They chose the closet, saying that it'd be easier to spy on me without me noticing, however that works."

Silence.

"Is that what you'd call a closet pervert?"

* * *

If you've ever wanted to be chased through a town in 19th century America by an army of Cybermen, then you could say that Professor Hershel Layton was living your dream. It didn't make it much better that the only help he had was from an a very energetic young woman and 11-year old boy, who didn't know when to shut up. They weren't much help, though, when running away from alien invaders. Go figure. And don't mind all the cowboys sitting around, thinking that the entire display was just the sun getting to them, since they wouldn't have been of much help anyway.

To explain their presence there, you could say the fault was that of a certain Time Lord. After another near-death experiance with the Black Guardian, which thankfully this time didn't concern having to find The Key of Time, the Doctor thought it wouldn't be a bad idea to install a new randomizer. It evidently was, which he later found out after getting a signal about trouble in the trio's current timezone. It was only by chance that he came to Layton's time, before they, by chance once again, came to the Cybermen-infected America.

So right now, they were running for their lives, leading the Cybermen into an active gold mine - they had spent a long time convincing the miners in there to get out, having to come up with all sorts of crazy stories - practically praying for the Doctor to show up any moment.

After running around for at least ten minutes in that near-labyrint, they finally heard the sound of the TARDIS. When it materialised, the trio was practically slamming into its doors, had it not been for the Doctor opening in the last minute. Because opening it properly would be the last thing on their minds in a situation like this.

"Took you long enough. Did you deactivate the randomizer?"

"No. I've spent the last month going to 1000 destinations at random, trying to get back here as soon as possible without attracting attention. More than usual. You got them to follow you?"

"Of course. We did bring Luke with us, after all."

"Hey!"

* * *

With all the strange things going on in his life, the Professor thought he'd seen it all. That quickly went out the window, when he one day found his office filled and practically _made_ of block structures. Of course, Luke was behind all of this.

"Hey Professah, can you help me built this shelter for when the monsters arrive?"

The Professor only groaned. His psychiatrist was going to have a blast.

* * *

The Professor liked Sundays, since there rarely ever happened anything on Sundays. Granted, sometimes there did, but it was still rarer than any other day of the week. This was not one of those days.

"Good morning, Professor," Emmy said, disturbing his tea time. "Look at this thing I built overnight. The lot of it is from spare parts of some of Descole's and Don Paolo's machines. Isn't it cute?" she asked, refering to a little drone-like machine, which had followed her from her room.

The drone looked him up and down and spoke in a rather feminine voice. "This is the person you've been talking about? He seems so unlikeable."

The Professor groaned. "Not again."

It was then that Clive entered, having a conversation with Flora. "All right, I've been thinking, when life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade!"

This got the drone's attention. "Yeah."

Clive only continued. "Make life take the lemons back!"

"Yeah!"

"Get Mad!"

"Yeah!"

"I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these?"

"Yeah, take the lemons!"

"Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Clive Dove lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man whose gonna burn your house down - with the lemons!"

"Oh, I like this guy."

Meanwhile, Layton was silently sitting, hoping that his presence had been forgotten. Unfortunately for him, the moment Clive stopped talking, the drone shifted its attention back to him and his tea.

"That thing is probably some sort of raw sewage. Go ahead and rub your face all over it."

"It's tea."

"Rub. Your. Face. ALL. OVER. IT."

* * *

Luke was many things. Kind, talkactive to the point where you'd wonder if he was breathing and annoyingly cute at all times of the day minus the timespan between 5 and 6 PM. He was also _very_ scared of thunderstorms.

"Make it stop! Please, make it stop!"

"LUKE! Relax, please! It'll be over in a couple of minutes."

"Can't you do anything to make it stop, Professah?"

"No, I can't. So please, calm down!"

And then the lights went out.

"WWWAAAHHHHHH! I don't want to die!"

* * *

When suggesting that they needed to go out and have a relaxing trip as a family, Layton really hadn't camping in mind, but he was nevertheless determined to get the best out of it.

So one evening when drinking tea - the herbs for which they had picked themselves - the poor professor hadn't noticed Clive "spiking up" his tea, which let to less than satisfactory results for the rest of the party.

"...Wha-...deutchmarks..." the Professor mumbled. It was only when he spotted the campfire that he started speaking in _somewhat_ coherent sentences. "That's the stuff. I'm going to eat you, fire, and then I'm going to make you mah woman." Stumbling over to the fire, he tripped and landed by Luke's feet, who was quite innocently petting a stuffed kitten. "Wai- wha? Who? Ah, for gods sake! And your cat! I'm going to eat your cat. I'm going to eat that cat. Five cats for five deutchmarks at Arby's!" Leaving Luke in quite a disturbed state, he fixed his gaze at Flora. "Ein kleine Mädchen? Hast du der Tee jetzt gemachen?" This was his last sentence before passing out.

Off to the side were Clive and Emmy, neither one of them knowing exactly what to say, before one of them finally broke the silence. "Who knew that the Professor spoke German when drunk?"

"Who knew that the Professor spoke German at all?"

* * *

One morning when Luke and Flora ran wildly through the hallways of their home, Luke tripped and accidentally fell down the stairs. Surprisingly, nothing was broken and Luke himself quickly shrugged it off as a minor bruise. Later, as Layton would find out, that was not the case.

Talking to a student outside one of many classrooms in the University, the both of them were surprised to see Luke running towards them as fast as his tiny legs could go. "Professah! Professah! A HIPPO IS COMING!"

His exclamation wasn't too far off, but instead of a hippo it was just an overly fat man wanting to talk to Delmona about a job. He didn't get it.

* * *

**If you're wondering about the Cybermen, there was a minor earthquake immediately afterwards and they're now trapped in the gold mine.**

**There is also a very good reason why the Professor speaks German, but I'll leave that for you to figure out!**

**Again, I'm sorry for how long this took and I'll very soon come up with a new chapter with the remaining requests, that I didn't put in this one. I promise!**

**I own nothing.**


	21. Chapter 21

**Hello :) I had hoped it would be sooner, but two weeks aren't so bad.**

**1st - GeorgieSusoSuarez  
****2nd-4th - Kira The Mew  
****5th and 14th - The Drone  
****6th-10th - Abitat Eco  
****11th - Sweetly Delightful  
****12th - The Last Sea Serpent (let's say it's some sort of alternate reality)**

* * *

"Sod it all!" This unfortunate outburts was why Luke and Flora were sitting with Layton at the dining table to have - as the Professor so nicely put it - The Talk.

"Luke, Flora, there's something I'd like to talk to you about. It is very important, so no-"

"Don't worry, Professah, we already know the tooth fairy isn't real."

"Well, um, while that may be true, it isn't what I was going to talk about."

"We also know that it isn't the stork that brings the babies."

"Well, ye-what?! Who told you that?!"

* * *

Layton had no clue as to where on earth he was; in fact, he wasn't sure if he was even ON Earth anymore. You could call it a qualified guess, but you would quickly come to that conclusion as well, if you saw how weirdly people around him dressed. It might also have something to do with the fairies currently tugging his hair. Either he wasn't on Earth anymore or he might have accidentally stumbled upon Albion.

"Pssst!" one of the fairies tried to get his attention - that approach proved to be more effective than tugging him till he was bald, oddly enough. "I'm Navi. You're not from around here, are you? We might be able to get you back home, but first you have to help Link save the princess!"

Deciding that he didn't have anything to lose - except his life, perhaps? - he followed her and was soon on the way, tagging along with a green-clad young man, who didn't say a lot. It was actually refreshing to go out on an adventure with peace and quiet to think.

"Professah! Professah, I found you!"

That didn't last long.

* * *

"That is MY bear!"

Layton had only just picked up a teddy, which had been inconveniently lying on his office desk. The exclamation took him completely by surprise.

"NOBODY touches MY BEAR but ME!"

He wasn't even going to contemplate the awkwardness of that sentence. Before he knew it, he landed face first on the hallway floor followed by the sound of a door being locked.

* * *

Whether or not it was revenge for the bear thing, the Professor wasn't sure, but he knew that he had to get rid of all the kittens and puppies that had found their way into his office.

It took a few hours, but he was finally done. Of course, Rosa couldn't help remarking that the office was cleaner than it usually was. This only earned her a glare.

* * *

_Ding dong._

The first thing you'd imagine to see, when opening your front door after your doorbell has rung, is either a familiar face or someone who'd like to sell you something, NOT a greenish dog hybrid of some kind. But that was exactly what Layton saw.

"For you..." It _talked_, pointing at Layton. "...I will make waffles."

"...That's very nice of you?"

Not long after, everyone was seated around the dinner table, eating waffles.

"There be waffle in them!" the creature said.

"Yes. Professor, what is this thing?"

"I was hoping you'd have an answer for that."

"You don't think it's a friend of-"

"No. It's probably some devil dog from the dephs of hell, wanting to make us some delicious waffles! We have heard weirder."

"Yes."

"..."

"..."

"Professor, a moose is eating your hat."

"I miss my cupcake."

* * *

"Happy Father's Day!" Luke was holding out a present for the Professor.

"Luke? It isn't-"

"Open it and see what's inside!"

With a sigh, the Professor opened it, not wanting to hurt the poor boy's feelings. That is until he saw what was inside...

...It was a hat. A WOMAN'S hat, so delightfully pink and with feather sticking out here and there, all of which were different colours. It was a nightmare!

"HAHAHA! You opened it! You really thought it was Father's Day! April Fool!"

"It isn't the 1st of April either."

"...You're just no fun."

* * *

"Luke? Flora?"

It might appear that the dear professor was playing hide and seek with both of his young wards, he wasn't, though he might as well be, because they had mysteriously disappeared. It could hardly get any worse...

"Hello, Mr. L!"

...Or so he thought.

"Hello, Rosetta... Um, what are you doing here, if you don't mind me asking? I'm rather busy at the mo-"

"Looking for your assistants?"

"My what?"

"Your assistants," she smiled, indicating she knew something he didn't. "The little boy and the young girl you always have following you around."

"You mean Luke and Flora? Why, yes! You haven't seen them, have you?"

"I picked them up and left them at a nursing home. I wonder how long it'll take them to get out of there."

"Why did you do that?"

"To be your assistant of the day! Or for the rest of the week, depending how fast those brats are."

"I am sorry to say..." the Professor said, mentally adding _'not really'_. "...that Luke and Flora are not my assistants. Actually, my assistant is standing right behind you."

The next thing Rosetta knew was waking up in a hospital bed.

* * *

"All your threes."

"Go fish."

Wonderful game, 'Go fish'. The perfect way to pass the time, which they seemed to have enough of at the moment. You see, to try and strengthen their somewhat brotherly bond, Layton, Randall, Clark and a mildly confused Henry went camping. The girls found this a magnificent idea, because now they could go out shopping, gossip about David Tennants and Johnny Depps, and maybe get to know each other better. Typical.

In any case, they had found a cave just as it began to rain and were seeking shelter inside. They had only just entered when a rockfall blocked the entrance, which was followed by a familiar laughter, which miraculously made its way through. Descole was having a blast. If there was any consolation, then it'd be that he was probably getting terribly sick out there.

So here they were, playing 'Go fish', with the exception of Clark, who was studying the rocks. He never did get over not becoming an archaeologist.

"Henry! I can see your cards!"

"So sorry, Master Randall. Here, have my eights as compensation."

"How is there even light and oxygen enough for us in here?"

"Just don't question it."

* * *

"That Granny Riddleton is the most beautiful woman in the world!" What was he doing? He had only just woken up and was now suddenly standing in front of everyone, _almost_ declaring some sort of undying love confession for the most eyesore woman he'd ever met.

"If she's so beautiful, why don't you marry her?"

"I will." That was no longer an _almost_.

"Fine. I'll call the church; the rest of you will handle invitations and reception. No, Flora, you're not allowed anywhere _near_ the food!"

Somewhere, Granny Riddleton was having a blast with a Layton plushie.

* * *

For whatever reason, Layton had invited him so that they could watch 'Phantom of the Opera' on stage together. Regardless of his choice in clothes, he was by no means a romantic. Why Layton had asked him in the first place was a mystery all on its own, and the only way to figure out what he wanted was to accept the invitation.

Nothing spectacular happened until they were halfway through; the lead had fainted. Layton was only too excited to lent the people on stage the assistance of his 'friend' for the rest of the show.

"You planned this, didn't you?"

"Me? I have no clue as to what you're talking about."

"You're dead after this."

"Good, good. If you invited me out for ice cream, then I'd be worried."

* * *

Clothes shopping wasn't his favourite hobby, but when it came to Flora, there wasn't a thing he wouldn't do for his 'daughter'.

"You're so good with children," Rosetta, who had appeared out of nowhere, said. "You must have _experience_."

"Professah, what does she mean by that?" Luke - again, out of nowhere - asked.

Clive then appeared from his hidding spot, from where he'd been _looking__ out_ for Flora. "That one's easy to explain." He then whispered something into Luke's ear, the little boy's face was gradually becoming redder and redder.

"_What?!_ Professah, have you done _that_ to _Rosetta_?!"

"Well, not yet, anyway."

Layton and Flora were standing by the sidelines, not saying a word, the former out of embarrassment and the latter due to confusion.

* * *

"I am going to win!"

"No, I am!"

"You're all bloody losers!"

_'Kill me now'_ was all that went through Layton's head at the moment. Right now, he was tied down to a chair, observing the progress of the young ladies below. One of these yound ladies was Rosetta. Somehow, he was caught up in a competition, which involved puzzle solving, running and, now, climbing up a mountain to reach the top. What was the grand prize, you might ask? Layton's hand in marriage. Sometimes, he himself wondered how he ended up in these messes.

Down below, a few of the contestants fell down a dark hole from stepping in some iron doors.

"Why are those even there?"

"Don't ask me. This is one of Descole's many islands, which he graciously lent us. It wouldn't surprise me if there were starving wolves down there!"

"If that is the case, then I feel sorry for the wolves."

"Me, too, mate."

Rosetta was scarily close to the top, and she would have won, had not a helicopter landed, reaching it mere seconds before her. Out stepped Emmy and Claire.

Then Clive showed up. "Uh~, a hot threesome, eh? Can I join, Professor?"

"No."

* * *

It wasn't, that he wasn't happy to see Claire again. Quite on the contrary, actually. What he didn't understand was how she could be _alive_.

"Quite simple, actually, if I do say so myself."

He turned around to see a _far_ too familiar pinstriped suit.

"How so?"

"I went back in time and saved her and everyone else. Didn't prevent Bill from turning on the machine though, so it still exploded."

"How could you do that? Wasn't it a fixed point in time?"

"Well, yes, the explosion was, not necessarily the people that died. Who was going to stop me? Clive's parents survived, so none of the Future London higga-ma-diggie happened. Besides, with the explosion plus plenty of witnesses, Bill actually got arrested. True, he didn't get to be Prime Minister, but how can a few changed years of an island nation change world history? Really, how bad can it get?"

Enter Harold Saxon.

* * *

This was officially the most embarrassing day of his life. Why? Well...

It had all started out rather normal, but due to certain circumstances - all of which would be too hard to explain, much less understand - he was standing in the middle of Charing Cross Station. Dressed like a chicken. _Dancing. _Waiting for a clue where to go next, so that he'd go home sooner, get changed and forget all about today. If only it was that _easy._

* * *

**I imagine Luke to be terrible at April Fools pranks.**

**I own nothing**


End file.
